“Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end: then stop.” -Lewis Carroll

Sage story telling advice from The King in Alice and Wonderland.  It’s good in theory anyway.  I generally like to start somewhere in the middle, discover the end, then draw the story back to it’s most logical beginning.  Perfectly sensible in my estimation.  This may explain, to a degree, my lack of completed novels. We’ll mark this -Why I have not completed a novel – point 1A.

Oddly enough it’s the beginning where I’ve started this go round.  Perhaps it’s a sign.  Perhaps Lewis Carroll is working vicariously through my feeble fingers.  We’re going to go with – It’s a sign.

According to most writing manuals, creative writing seminars and my daughter’s 2nd grade class however, it’s really before the beginning where you’re supposed to begin – in the outline.  I don’t outline.  I have never outlined.  I find the entire process tedious and redundant.  We’ll mark that point 1B of why I have not yet completed a novel.

Manuals schmanuals – I’m sticking with Carroll on this one – or at least with The King (head or no).

Also, apparently sensical is not a word.  Nonsensical is a word.  Sensible is a word.   This tip has been brought to you by the English language which I find to be nonsensical or not at all sensible.  (Take that English!)


The SomewhatSortof Novelist – behaving badly


I’m a novelist . . . sort of, no really.

So here’s the skinny.  I’m a 32 year-old mom of 3 and I am also a writer.  I wrote my first book in the 6th grade – it filled 2 yellow, legal steno pads cover to cover, front and back.  There were many hijinks involving spaghetti and gum in hair mixed with peanut butter.  Food was very funny to my 11 year-old self evidently.  Between 11 and 32 there have been endless stories, poems, reports, scripts, picture books, articles etc, etc.  The problem is – no novel.

So what’s the issue?  There are a few.  The publishing industry is a hairy, scary beast that haunts my dreams.  I’ve submitted a couple of smaller items and received the scathing rejection letter – which was, in reality, not scathing at all – only primly polite, but it felt scathing all the same.  But in all honesty, even I have to admit I’ve never really put it all out there, made it happen, taken my stand and the publishing industry by storm.  My frenetic, compulsive brain has produced about 75 different tales to date.  But that novel . . . THE novel, well it’s not exactly written yet.  I have shoe boxes, plastic tubs, college ruled notebooks, post-its, napkins – and even yellow legal steno pads filled with amazing ideas, starts, ends and scenes, what I do not have is that novel.

So here is my thought.  I’m going to take a little journey inside myself and I’m going to write.  I’m going to take the 4 current pages of my favorite idea at the moment and I’m going to become the novelist I fantasize that I am.

If you’re of a mind, please take the journey with me.  Write a novel of your own or simply read along and laugh as I flounder.  I’ll keep you updated on my progress and you can do the same.


The SomewhatSortof Novelist